The Wet Willy Way: NINJA!

Death by Children is committed to supporting only the highest standards in parenting techniques. We are especially devoted to methods of parenting that embody joy, love, and laughter, as well as promoting the idea to every parent that their children are not a burden, but a gift. We also tell fart jokes.

WWW Technique #002: The Ninja

This technique is designed to teach the parent how to reconnect to their children through absurdity and laughter.

Method:

Wait until your kids is sitting quietly, lost in thought, then grab their forearm and loudly scream NINJA!

Why it works

It’s funnier than hell. Seriously, nothing’s funnier than surprising the crap out of your kids.

It’s inclusive: your kids get to ninja you back.

It’s ridiculous: it erodes tension and severity with absurdity.

It levels the playing field: Everyone gets really silly and competitive and tries so hard to find that perfect moment when everyone’s forgotten about NINJA then yell NINJA!

Try it.

See. It works.

About Christopher Garlington, Esq.

Christopher Garlington lives in Chicago in a standard two kids, wife, dog, corner-lot, two car, small business owner American dream package. He drives a 2003 Camry, sports a considerable notebook fetish, and smokes Arturo Fuente Partaga Maduros as often as possible. His stories have appeared in Chicago Parent; The Kentuckian, The Orlando Sentinel, The Daily Herald, Exito!, Florida, Orlando, Orlando Weekly, Catholic Digest, Retort, Another Realm, The Dead Mule School of Southern Literature, South Lit, and other magazines. He is the author of the infamous anti-parenting blog, Death By Children; co-author of The Beat Cop’s Guide to Chicago Eats; and co-hosts a weekly radio show based on that book. His monthly column for Chicago Parent, “My Funny Life,” was nominated for best humor article in the 2010 annual Parenting Publications of America Editorial and Design Awards.
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