Monday is Man Day: Pork and Blood

Goods Beef Monday is Man Day: Pork and Blood

My new girlfriend.

Oh pork, you’re so bacon. I don’t know what to say. I’m speech­less. I’m sat­u­rated. I’m enporke­nated. I’m in heaven.

I vis­ited the Butcher & Larder and had their Pig’s Head Hot Sand­wich and fell in love. I am now dat­ing their slicer.

Imag­ine eat­ing a deli­cious, freshly butchered pork sand­wich while stand­ing at the counter watch­ing them fill sausages and slice bacon to order.

If only they served beer.

About Bull Garlington

Christopher Garlington is the humor columnist for Chicago Parent magazine, Seattle Parent Map, and New York Parenting magazine. His stories have appeared in Atlanta Parent, Baton Rouge Parent, Parenting ABC (U.K.); Florida, Orlando, Orlando Weekly, Catholic Digest, Retort, Another Realm, The Dead Mule School of Southern Literature, and other magazines. He is the author of the infamous anti-parenting blog, Death By Children; co-author of The Beat Cop’s Guide to Chicago Eats.