Quickie: Ferret Potty Pad Ads?

I just started adver­tis­ing on this site and I have to say it’s kind of hit and miss. While I approve of the stand­ing “Fart But­ton” ad which tow­ers on the right side of my page, I remain con­cerned about the Fer­ret Potty Pads that lurks furtively under the Morgue.

It both­ers me because I think of Google as the smartest kid in the room. I think of them as a huge com­plex of highly intel­li­gent, extremely wise, dili­gent and ded­i­cated inno­va­tors who model every­thing they do for years in a lab before they launch it in beta and I believe every­thing they say. I am a zealot. So if Google says the best ad for my web­site is Fer­ret dia­pers, what does that say about my content?

Is this what peo­ple get from my writ­ing? Do peo­ple read “The Great Orange Grove Minia­ture Cliff­side Vil­lage Urine Dis­as­ter” and look up from their lap­top and ask the room, “Do you smell Fer­ret piss?”

Erma Bombeck never had this problem.

About Bull Garlington

Christopher Garlington is the humor columnist for Chicago Parent magazine, Seattle Parent Map, and New York Parenting magazine. His stories have appeared in Atlanta Parent, Baton Rouge Parent, Parenting ABC (U.K.); Florida, Orlando, Orlando Weekly, Catholic Digest, Retort, Another Realm, The Dead Mule School of Southern Literature, and other magazines. He is the author of the infamous anti-parenting blog, Death By Children; co-author of The Beat Cop’s Guide to Chicago Eats.

  • Lara

    OK, the heretic agnos­tic in me just can’t resist point­ing out the “Lord’s Gym” ad that has just appeared. Is it just me, or is the buff Jesus shoulder-pressing the cross WAY more dis­turb­ing than the fer­ret pee pads????

  • Anony­mous

    Atten­tion Blogger:

    You need to blog more!

    –The man­age­ment

  • Jered

    Hillar­i­ous. I check your blog every now and then and every time I do, I can’t stop laughing.