I get this text to wake me up: “Dad, I’m almost out of clothes.”
Well, no kidding. It’s Wednesday. He’s worn two and a half days worth of clothes so far. Roon has a tendency to wear undershirts. But he uses his other shirts as his undershirts so it looks like he’s wearing two t-shirts. Well, he IS wearing two t-shirts. But I only packed on t-shirt per day so perhaps he’s run through his stupid rock-n-roll t-shirt batch.
I’ve already been out there once to sneak him his laptop and enough snacks to last him a week which adds up to a metric ton of beef jerky and chips. However, I’m the world’s worst dad and the power chord that was WRAPPED AROUND HIS LAPTOP in his room was NOT HIS POWER CHORD. Hommes was, shall we say, non-plussed.
I expected to be upbraided for my slackard ways. But instead his morning text emergency is that he might be running out of clothes.
I’m raising a fashion maven.
About Christopher Garlington, Esq.
Christopher Garlington lives in Chicago in a standard two kids, wife, dog, corner-lot, two car, small business owner American dream package. He drives a 2003 Camry, sports a considerable notebook fetish, and smokes Arturo Fuente Partaga Maduros as often as possible. His stories have appeared in Chicago Parent; The Kentuckian, The Orlando Sentinel, The Daily Herald, Exito!, Florida, Orlando, Orlando Weekly, Catholic Digest, Retort, Another Realm, The Dead Mule School of Southern Literature, South Lit, and other magazines. He is the author of the infamous anti-parenting blog, Death By Children; co-author of The Beat Cop’s Guide to Chicago Eats; and co-hosts a weekly radio show based on that book. His monthly column for Chicago Parent, “My Funny Life,” was nominated for best humor article in the 2010 annual Parenting Publications of America Editorial and Design Awards.
