The Overnight Camp Sagas: Day Three

I get this text to wake me up: “Dad, I’m almost out of clothes.”

Well, no kid­ding. It’s Wednes­day. He’s worn two and a half days worth of clothes so far. Roon has a ten­dency to wear under­shirts. But he uses his other shirts as his under­shirts so it looks like he’s wear­ing two t-shirts. Well, he IS wear­ing two t-shirts. But I only packed on t-shirt per day so per­haps he’s run through his stu­pid rock-n-roll t-shirt batch.

I’ve already been out there once to sneak him his lap­top and enough snacks to last him a week which adds up to a met­ric ton of beef jerky and chips. How­ever, I’m the world’s worst dad and the power chord that was WRAPPED AROUND HIS LAPTOP in his room was NOT HIS POWER CHORD. Hommes was, shall we say, non-plussed.

I expected to be upbraided for my slackard ways. But instead his morn­ing text emer­gency is that he might be run­ning out of clothes.
I’m rais­ing a fash­ion maven.

About Bull Garlington

Christopher Garlington is the humor columnist for Chicago Parent magazine, Seattle Parent Map, and New York Parenting magazine. His stories have appeared in Atlanta Parent, Baton Rouge Parent, Parenting ABC (U.K.); Florida, Orlando, Orlando Weekly, Catholic Digest, Retort, Another Realm, The Dead Mule School of Southern Literature, and other magazines. He is the author of the infamous anti-parenting blog, Death By Children; co-author of The Beat Cop’s Guide to Chicago Eats.